


Not With Me

by sabershadowkat



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-04
Updated: 2015-08-04
Packaged: 2018-04-12 21:06:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4494717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabershadowkat/pseuds/sabershadowkat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Angel's thoughts<br/>Season 4 implied</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not With Me

I saw him today. Strutting down the street like he owned the world, his left shoulder digging down a little with each step, his peroxide-blond hair glinting in the streetlight. And when I saw him, I knew exactly where he was going.   
  


To her.   
  


When I found out about them, I couldn't believe it. It wasn't until I saw them together with my own eyes that it sunk in.   
  


It hurt.   
  


It hurt so much I wanted to go out and make the streets run with blood. It hurt so much I wanted to see the sun rise.   
  


But I did neither.   
  


Now, it doesn't hurt so much. I've watched them together. The teasing, the fighting, the love that flows between them. Instead, I'm jealous.   
  


Jealous of him.   
  


Because he could love her without his soul and I only wanted to destroy her without mine.

Had I known that he would be loved by my love, I wouldn't have turned him. Because it isn't fair that he could love her as much as he does without his soul as I do with mine. It isn't fair that she could be with him.   
  


Not with me.   
  


I'm jealous of her.   
  


Because it also wasn't fair that _he_ wanted to be with her.   
  


Not with me.   
  


I saw him today. Strutting down the street without a care in the world, his left shoulder digging down with each step, a cigarette between his fingertips. And I knew exactly where he was going.   
  


My first love without a soul was going to meet my first love with one.   
  


I was jealous.   
  


Of her.   
  


Of him.   
  


Of them.   
  


Being not with me.   
  
  


 


End file.
